I have a big dog. She is really big. She is a ferocious looking demon hound to some. She is a big cuddle puddle of loose skin covered with crushed velvet to others. However people judge her before getting to know her, they inevitably ask, “is he friendly or mean?” I am going to skip the automatic human gender assignment to the animal this time and just tell you that she is a neapolitan mastiff. She has presence and is hard to ignore, even if you wanted to.
My answer is basically as follows: The way my dog reacts to you personally, is largely determined by how you approach me. Are you friendly or mean? The environment this animal is presented with, in conjunction with her experiences, will determine how she behaves towards you. There are a wide range of possibilities here. And within that range, there are further ranges. Lets take one behaviour for now…
She bites you. Why? Because she is mean. No. Because she in hungry? I can also rule that out, but it’s still a worthy question. Was she scared, nervous, angry, being protective, or confused? Lets take angry. Was that just a display of dominance, rage, a warning, annoyance, or distrust?
I think if I were to simply answer the question of whether my dog is friendly or mean, would be doing her a disservice. And I respect my dog, so I would likely assess your demeanour and approach and ask if you would like to meet her and get to know her. That is if I felt you were safe.
Getting back to the title of this post, are my voices friendly or mean? Neither. They react to the environment around me, in conjunction with my experiences. But I am also human, with only so much capacity for insight (especially when actively hearing) that other factors, like my mood, come into play. And many many more. I am trying to identify them and I know many of them. So…if they aren’t friendly or mean…what do your voices sound like…?
Angels whispering, blood thirsty devils from a hell deeper than hell, incoherent singing, cell phone buzzing, my name being spoken by people looking at me, like someone is following me, sexy babes, rage incarnate, whiny little fucks, laughing ladies in the kitchen, chanting, bang bang, wise words, attacks, sirens, commands, all manner of horror still unwritten, poetic, teeth clenching, panicky, nonsense, numbers, breathing, growling, thumping, too quiet, epiphany, interruptive, absolute power, guilty, shameful, unappreciative and appreciative, my name from afar, my mother who isn’t my mother, music, worry, drug seeking, glad, bad, mad, witches, and The Fifth.
But it’s more complex than that, however, I’ve lost my train of thought in my insomnia as I started listening to Penelope humming…
The Four Witches and Me 